Learning to trust in your hypnobirthing practice

Antenatal classes can be funny things. You start hoping to feel more informed, less afraid and you can come out feeling more confused or worried about your birth than ever, even if you have made a great group of new friends.

I’ve heard that some antenatal classes can be biased towards natural births and be discouraging of drugs or interventions. And then I’ve heard the opposite too. I’ve seen and listened to the criticism directed at antenatal teachers when birth experiences don’t quite turn out as planned.

I’m a firm believer in taking responsibility for your birth and making the best plans you can with the information you have. I also don’t believe that you need to dwell on and become overly familiar with all the medical options you will have if your birth path starts to look a bit less usual. Instead I teach couples the skills to communicate and make educated decisions at the time, even though I won’t be there to help.

I sing the praises of hypnobirthing so often, it might also be good to balance things out by giving some of the potential difficulties that I see with hypnobirthing couples too.

Achieving the “perfect” birth

It’s worth saying right here, right now, there is no such thing as a perfect birth. Only what’s right for you and your baby. Although it’s tempting to compare yourself to other mums or want what they had, there are no guarantees. You can get yourself in a good place but Mother Nature will have the final say in the end.

I’ve seen women take the power of hypnobirthing and the possibility it provides and flip it, turning the options for empowerment and positivity into a way to control their experience and manage their emotions about birth. It’s easy to let it become a way to deny your fears and worries about lack of control.

If you start to feel like this, it’s worth reminding yourself that you don’t need to hang on with a vice like grip. Your baby will have it’s own part to play plus your team of caregivers, including your birth partner, are there to share in decision making and will be great supports to you.

Disappointment if your birth isn’t natural

One of the most common bits of feedback I hear from mums is over the strength of the sensation that their surges generate (the pain from contractions in every day birthing language). For many, it’s the first time they ever feel something this strong and once they do experience them, they begin to doubt their ability to continue without pain relief.

The advice I always give is that you might need to focus more strongly and work a little harder on your up breathing than you had expected. Whilst I had hoped to be a zen like statue in the corner, I’m pretty sure I was a loud, slightly sweaty, pacing mama. I also ask women to remember that in this case, the sensation isn’t a sign that something is going wrong, in fact, just the opposite!

If you get to the point though where these two ideas aren’t doing it for you, have the drugs and don’t feel bad about it. You will make many many more choices for your child and will quickly learn that a lot of the time, what’s right for you is also best for them, no guilt required.

Revisiting interventions

If your caregiver has suggested a procedure to you and you’re not sure about it, you need to ask for more detail and begin the process of negotiating your care with them. Hypnobirthing gives you the skills and confidence to do this well but we would never ever advocate resisting the help you need.

Once you have spoken about the risks, benefits, alternatives and the option to do nothing, only then can you be confident that you’ve made the right choice. Hopefully up can avoid unnecessary interventions but the ones you truly need? I’d be so glad they were offered.

Being combative with caregivers

One mama to be told me recently that her friends who’d had babies before her had told her that she needed to be pretty assertive with her caregivers during labour to make sure her wishes were respected.

Wanting to participate and feeling like you can is great but this made me wonder a little. When I had my little girl, I was assertive in the run up to the birth but I smiled, asked for help, shared my hopes. During labour itself, I spoke very little. By that point, I had built a great rapport with my midwives and my husband know just what I wanted to happen. I disappeared off into my birth bubble and instead of needing to worry and stay alert, I could focus on keeping my oxytocin flowing.

Assertiveness is great; setting up a relationship of tension with your midwives, not so much.

For me the common themes of all these issues is a basic lack of trust. It’s so hard, I know. Part of hypnobirthing is learning that you can trust the people around you to care for you but also that you can trust yourself to know what to do when the time is right. You can release the burden of needing to micromanage your experience.

Natural ways to bring on labour: can you and should you do it?

You’re approaching the 40 week mark and those calls from your family, friends and your mum’s best friend from school who somehow knows your due date are taking on a frenzied tone. Your best mate wants to make sure you’re the one she tells first, your mother in law has picked out her outfit for the first photo with her grandkid and your dad is postponing his holiday to make sure he can meet the little one as soon as possible. It’s enough to make you want to drop your phone into the bath on purpose. Maybe just put it on silent for a bit.

On top of all that noise, your midwife is now talking to you about engagement fractions (⅗? Is ⅗ ok for now?), sweeps and inductions. You’re wondering if every tiny bit of fluid you can feel is the start of your waters breaking, you’ve had enough of aching in bed when you try to sleep and every Braxton Hicks contraction you feel could be the start of something. In other words, the pressure is on.

Technically, there’s no ‘natural’ way to bring on labour, as even a sweep might be hurrying along a baby who’s not quite ready to make an appearance yet. Research now shows that the baby’s lungs will release a special protein that tells the mum’s body that it’s ready to go and start labour. Also, the baby’s head position is vital. The pressure of it on the cervix also kicks off and amplifies the flow of hormones needed for labour. The best advice out there is to be patient and let nature take it’s awe inspiring course.

What’s a woman to do? Wait it out and hope for the best or speed things along yourself if you can? Could your attempts make labour a painful nightmare or will they just not work? Here’s a brief roundup of options you might have seen or heard about.

Might work but might not

Pineapple – this apparently does work. The bromelain it contains is thought to act in a similar way to the human hormone prostaglandin that ripens and softens the cervix, making labour more likely to start imminently. You can try this one late in pregnancy if you like but be warned – you’ll need to eat 8 fresh pineapple cores a day to get anywhere near the volume of bromelain that you need in your body for it to be effective. That means none of the tasty flesh and no juicy canned ones either.
Hot and spicy food – There’s no real evidence for this one. If you have a craving for spicy food, indulge it. Bear in mind though that the last thing you want to deal with, alongside your labour, is an upset digestive system if you overdo it. Your body will likely prepare itself with a mini clearing of the system so what goes in will come out sometime soon.

Stay away from these

Castor oil – the evidence shows that this will work for some people but if it does, the outcomes aren’t normally good. Everyone who took part in studies felt nauseous, many had much more painful labours and it was likely that taking it increased the chances of a cesarean. This one doesn’t sound good to me. I’d leave it well alone.

Aloe vera juice – bottles of aloe vera juice often carry a warning that they shouldn’t be used by pregnant women. It works as a laxative and can irritate the uterus, causing strong contractions that can easily become out of control giving you a more difficult and possibly more painful labour. I’d stay well clear of this too – it doesn’t sound worth the risk.

Go for it

Nice relaxing options that make feel good hormones flow – we’re mammals and labour will categorically not start if we feel stressed or in danger. If you can relax and feel happy, you’re massively increasing your chances of going into spontaneous labour.

Lovemaking, baths, laughter and happy visualisations all fall into this category. They will produce a positive physical change in your body that might loosen things up and persuade baby that the outside word is also a pretty happy place.

Alternative remedies also work in a similar way. Being relaxed, positive and like you’re doing something to help, may just be the kick start you need. Acupuncture, reflexology and hypnotherapy are by far the most likely ‘natural’ interventions you can use to help. Just make sure you see someone who’s trusted and qualified.

Raspberry leaf tea – this one is absolutely proven to be helpful, so much so that it’s best to avoid it until you are past week 30. From that point on, you can drink one cup a day, gradually increasing up to four cups it if you have no overly strong effects. The tea works to tone the uterus, making sure that contractions (or surges in hypnobirthing talk) are as efficient as possible. I made mine into pints of iced tea each morning.

Dates – just like raspberry leaf tea, these won’t kick labour off alone but they will make your body more receptive to the hormone changes it needs to pick up on to kick of surges. In countries where women eat more than six dates a day, it’s been shown that they could expect to have a shorter first stage of labour and to go into spontaneous labour more often. The dates mimic the effects of oxytocin, making the uterus more sensitive, stimulating it’s surges and reducing the chance of postpartum hemorrhage. They are nutritious but also contain a fair amount of sugar so once you’re past week 36, replace any daily treats with six awesome dates!

Patience is still best though. As with everything to do with our amazing human bodies, we need to learn to trust in it’s knowledge and ability to get things right. Maybe your baby will come tomorrow of it’s own accord anyway; perhaps it needs a week or two more to finish up growing. Whatever your circumstance, remember this: you’re getting a blissful few extra days, with just you and your partner; the kind of alone time you might be wishing for very soon. Babies come when babies are ready.


This post was written for and first appeared on The Natural Parent Magazine.

tea lights

5 tips to make any birth a more chilled out experience

When I had my little girl, I planned to have her at home. I was lucky and my home birth went as planned and she was born in our downstairs bathroom – although that bit I’d not expected! Even though I was hoping for a home birth, I still had to allow for the situation where my labour didn’t progress as expected. I used these simple tips to make sure I could take my mellow, homelike setting with me to hospital.

1. Make a playlist

Now I look back, I actually have no idea what track my daughter was born to. I wish I’d noted it down but my mind was elsewhere… In the months leading up to her birth, my husband and I spent an hour or so each week creating a birth playlist. Some of the tracks were calming, some faded into the background and some were more upbeat.

Your energy during labour will ebb and flow so a mixture of styles you can pick and choose from will be just what you need. Familiar sounds which drown out the background noise in a more medicalised environment will help you focus and relax. You could even bring a wireless speaker with you

2. Keep the numbers down

I was adamant that I wanted no family apart from my husband with me. I didn’t tell anyone else that I was in labour until my baby had arrived. I didn’t want to feel obliged to provide updates or answer text messages or manage the presence of anyone else. I also asked that we have as few caregivers as possible. This meant saying no to student observers and asking the midwives to give me a little space. I’m not sure I even noticed when they left my house. Feeling unobserved in a private space is an important part of relaxing and allowing your body to do it’s work.

3. Use low lighting

This was simple when we were at home. I had one single candle burning through the night and I think the midwife may have used the light of her phone to make her notes. Oxytocin flows better and adrenaline is less likely to be produced if lighting is kept minimal. Ask your midwives if you can turn the lights down and consider investing in a dim light. Fake candles are great as are colour changing lamps.

4. Get comfy

I could write an essay on the optimum positions for birth but I’ll limit it here to saying there is absolutely no need to use the bed for labouring. Sit on it, keep your stuff on it, climb into it when you’re ready to sleep but when it comes to comfort in labour, I’d stay well clear.

I planned to bring pillows and a soft blanket so I could make use of the floor, supersoft but darkly coloured pyjamas, my favourite shampoo and shower gel, a big fluffy towel (hospital ones can be threadbear and a little bit scratchy), socks to keep my feet warm and an elegant cover up to help me look and feel a bit pulled together when receiving visitors after baby had arrived.

5. Work with essential oils

In the world of hypnobirthing, essential oils can be used as a trigger. If they are used frequently when you are relaxed (having them diffusing at night when you sleep is ideal), once labour starts, they will subconsciously remind you of your calm space at home.

They will also mask the smell of disinfectant and the right oils can help support a woman in labour. Good choices are rose, neroli and lavender. I had a rose candle for use at home but for hospital, I bought a small pump spray bottle and added a few drops of an essential oil blend to water. The perfect homemade pillow spray.

Making a hospital room or a birthing centre feel more homely can seem a bit daunting but this was one of the jobs I asked my husband to take on. In the end, we didn’t need these small touches but I was reassured and probably more relaxed knowing that I had them ready to use.

This post was written for and first appeared on The Natural Parent Magazine.